VIDEO: 'I'm an Instagram Husband -- a human selfie stick'
THEY are the silent partners behind every perfect image posted by an attractive woman on social media.
Now "Instagram Husbands" are being offered help, in a hilariously astute video posted by comedy group The Mystery Hour.
The video opens with Geoff, who explains his life.
"Behind every cute girl on Instagram is a guy like me, and a brick wall.
"My job in pictures is to make her look good."
The video shows the endless torment of men who are expected to follow around their beloveds with a smart phone camera in hand, following instructions to photograph food, leaves and their girlfriends from above.
We meet Trey who confesses that he had to delete every app from his phone so he would have enough room for photographs.
"I'm basically a human selfie-stick," he said.
"Last year I got her a selfie stick because she thought I was trying to get out of photos.
"Of course I'm trying to get out of taking your f------ photo."
The men are offered help in the end of the video, pointed to InstagramHusbands.com where they can read more "confessions" from those who share their pain.
A variety of Instagram Husbands have told their mock tales of woe:
"This is what your face looks like when you see your wife put the corgi on top of an old record player for a picture."
"Do they still show trailers before movies? I have no idea. I'm being serious. I don't know if they show them. I do, however, know that I have a lot of pictures holding popcorn looking down at our feet."
"She only speaks in emojis now, which is difficult, because my first language is human."
"Recently I tried, only to realize that I have forgotten how to smile, but that's okay, she doesn't want me to smile in pictures anyway."
The site also has an eight-point guide to approach your Instagram Wife about your feelings:
You can survive, even thrive, as an Instagram Husband.
Don't be afraid of confrontation. You can approach your Instagram Wife with your feelings. However, do so with caution.
1. Invite your wife into reality saying, "Honey, it's me, Brian, the guy from the other side of the camera, your husband. I invite you to step out of frame, and into reality."
2. Repeat Step 1, only louder.
3. Touch her hand as a gentle reminder of the physicality of real life. She may be shocked at the feeling of something that is not glass and/or plastic, re-entering reality is not easy.
4. Speak in words she will understand, "Honey, I feel like I'm living my life in Willow, and I want it to be Lo-Fi." You don't have to know what that means, she will.
5. Hold the phone out to your side, this will force her to look into your eyes, as she is trained to look away from the phone.
6. She will want to take a picture of this poignant moment. Now is the chance to use your new boldness. Say, "No. Honey, no." This will be difficult, but stay strong.
7. She may not be able to change immediately, have patience. Hide all of her shoes.
8. If she does not respond positively, throw a well-presented plate of quinoa on the ground and run. She will not be able to resist a pic, giving you a great head start.