Menu
Lifestyle

‘Painfully unsexy nightmare’: 50 Shades savaged

FIFTY Shades Freed has roared past the $125 million mark at the international box office, less than a week after its premiere.

Clearly, the third and final instalment of the erotic series is having no trouble getting bottoms on seats - despite being absolutely destroyed by critics.

 

In fact, the reviews for Fifty Shades Freed have thrown up some of the most savage commentary we've seen since, well, Fifty Shades Darker, which has just a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Here are some of the most jaw-droppingly brutal comments:

"Hang up the chains and lock the Red Room: Our painfully unsexy cinematic nightmare is about over." - USA Today

"Marginally better than its predecessor, Fifty Shades Darker, in much the same way that being shot through the head is better than being guillotined; at the very least, there's not all that blinking and wondering where your body has gone." - FilmInk Australia

"This is a film in which one of the more emotionally detailed performances is given by a product-placement Audi." - The Telegraph

"With this last entry, we have officially hit the bottom of the barrel. Whips, chains, butt plugs and nipple clips are nothing compared to the sheer torture of watching this movie." - Rolling Stone

"If another sequel shows up, though, I'm going to have to use my safe word … If I can persuade just one of you to bypass its milquetoast masochism and watch the stratospherically superior 9 1/2 Weeks instead, then I will have done my job." - The New York Times

"Johnson and Dornan retain the chemistry of two mannequins knocked into each other in a department-store storage closet; the actual sex scenes play more like aerobics videos than anything actually steamy." - AZCentral

"Despite all evidence to the contrary, Fifty Shades Freed - like the two films before it - seems desperate to convince somebody, even itself, that the story it's telling is actually worth telling ... When all is said and done, what was said was badly written and what was done wasn't very interesting. Fifty Shades Freed concludes the trilogy as it began, with a romance you can't believe in, endless montages of affluence, lousy dialogue, weak plotting, and - admittedly - a heck of a lot of sex." - IGN

Topics:  fifty shades darker fifty shades freed love sex



Valla search unable to find missing swimmer

An aerial view of Valla Beach.

Hopes of finding swimmer who went missing at Valla Beach are fading.

Son of Ibrahim's bodyguard gunned down in Coffs Harbour

SHOOTING VICTIM: Nemilote 'Nim' Ngata (right) with John Ibrahim. Ngata was shot in Coffs Harbour on February 10, 2018.

The son of Semi Ngata, shot three months ago, was hit by a shotgun

Top jobs going on the Coffs Coast

Become an Airport operations supervisor at Coffs Harbour Regional Airport.

Take a look at what jobs are on offer along the Coffs Coast.

Local Partners

Road test review: BMW i3s is assault from battery

Dump the tie-dye shirt and dreadlocks, embrace the future with pint-sizer packing serious electric powered punch.

Used VW Tiguan gives plenty of engine and drive choices

The Volkswagen Tiguan.

VW Tiguan is classy, spacious cabin and excellent overall drive.

Scorned fiancee traps star’s mistress

Chelsea Lovelace felt Christoforou's wrath.

Saido Berahino’s fiancee called off their wedding

‘This photo was taken the night before I escaped’

Judy Sharp with her two sons while she was still in the abusive relationship. Picture: Facebook/TimSharp

JUDY Sharp doesn’t find it easy to look at this photo of herself with her young...

Homeless drug addicted Rocky mum turns life around

FILE IMAGE

Her mother's terminal cancer diagnosis was the catalyst for change

Two boys impacted by organ donation join forces

KICKING GOALS: Liver recipient, 11-year-old, Max Bishop from Ipswich and organ donor James Ackerman's six-year-old son Ollie from the Sunshine Coast, walked out together to deliver the match ball for the Bulldogs v Raiders match.

Son of organ donor and a footy-fanatic recipient join together

Parents in favour of new vaccination laws

VAX LAWS: North Coast Health District officials are hoping new vaccination laws which prevent children not yet immunised from attending day care will persuade parents to protect their youngsters.

Children's lives saved through vaccination laws