CROWDED surf has to be one of the ultimate First World problems, but for anyone who surfs, or lives with a surfer, the consequences can be serious.
Such problems intensify when, as was the case at the weekend, a clean cyclone swell combines with southerly winds to mean the only surfable options are our famous right-hand point breaks.
What this means is instead of spreading out along the beach, everyone sits in close quarters.
The best or biggest tend to sit at the top of the point, the less experienced after them and the grommets at the bottom.
Over the years there has been talk of a code of ethics in the surf and the Gold Coast Council has debated everything from signs to permits.
In reality, the facts are simple.
If you turn up to one of the Coast's points on a day when there is a southerly wind and expect to find it empty, you are an idiot.
If you turn up to one of the points on a scorching hot Saturday expecting it to be uncrowded, you are an idiot.
If you drop in on a kid, you are an idiot.
Assault is still assault regardless of whether or not you are in the water. If you think that's wrong, you are an idiot. If you're not patient enough to wait your turn or good enough to hassle your way onto a few waves, you are an idiot.
And just quietly, if you're a local and haven't worked out a way to time things so you get the odd, uncrowded little wave - you guessed it - you're an idiot.