Man creates spreadsheet of wife’s ‘excuses’
A WOMAN has revealed her husband sent her a spreadsheet detailing his (failed) attempts to initiate sex - with a column containing her "excuses" for turning him down.
For a month, the frustrated man, 26, jotted down each time he was rebuffed, noting her reasons which ranged from "I'm sweaty and gross" to "I'm too tired" and "I'm watching the show (Friends re-run)". Sound familiar?
He collated his data into an Excel document which he then emailed to his wife, also 26, as she arrived at an airport ahead of a 10-day business trip, The Sunreported.
Stunned by his "research", which showed just three of his attempts were successful, she tried to get in touch with him but he refused to answer her calls.
Justifiably annoyed, she then shared his spreadsheet on Reddit.
The whole debacle happened back in 2014, but it's since been doing the internet rounds again after it was shared on BoredPanda.
The wife, who remains anonymous, told how they'd been together for five years and married for two, having bought a house five months previously.
"Our lives have been crazy busy," she said.
"We spent all spring renovating our new house. At my job I was given nearly double my usual workload after some of my colleagues were laid off. I gained some weight in the winter and have been busting my a** at the gym to get rid of it.
"Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone.
"He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.
"Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1, with a column for my 'excuses', using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment."
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the majority of people took her side, with many people criticising her husband's "immaturity".
One Reddit user wrote: "There are so many ways this could have been communicated better, but instead he came up with some bizarre hit and run with a spreadsheet method which I'd say is actually going to be really hard to come back to a normal relationship from."
Another commented: "Don't you just love it when people call being sick, exhausted or extremely stressed out 'excuses'. How about thinking about someone else's feelings for a change?"
But others sympathised with the husband's plight, with one suggesting: "Maybe her husband has got sick and tired of being totally and utterly ignored for months on end, has had enough and wants resolution to the issue. This time, after all attempts, he has got her attention."
This article originally appeared on The Sun and was reproduced with permission.