Fashion police, pullover!

Venus is Fallon Hudson

I was once told as a journalism student that I should never wear pants in the newsroom.

This was because I was a woman and it was more “appropriate” to always wear a skirt. Sorry, I didn't know I was living in the 1950s. When I heard this comment I wanted to throw my girdle at the bloke – that is if I was wearing one.

For centuries women have been climbing the corporate world with a set of high heels and a maternity alarm clock waiting to buzz.

As a woman, I will never be a man, (what a blessing in disguise that is) but why is it that when it comes to how women are perceived in the workplace it is based on whether her skirt is A-line or pencil?

A recent newspaper article stated to get ahead in the workplace women should resist acting like men, and women should display feminine traits, such as listening to others.

I wonder if it was the same person who gave me my pearl of wisdom that wrote the article?

Speaking of pearls, maybe I should be clutching at them at the thought of actually wanting to be seen just a successful as a man? At the end of the day I am pretty sure that I can use some of my “female characteristics” of listening to others and being thoughtful to colleagues in my tailored black pants.

Well, it worked for Annie Hall didn't it?

Mars is Zane Jackson

Mark Twain once said the clothes make the man, but I'm not too sure his theory stacks up too well.

As a man I am: (a) portley (b) as fashionable as bringing your grandmother to a swinger's party, and (c) one who works in a profession only beaten by used car salesman as the least trustworthy in society.

If my clothes help make me the man I am today, I expect t ohear from clothing labels soon offering to pay me not to wear their garb.

Obviously I've stretched the point he was making there, which is a pretty reasonable one.  If you dress for success - whether in the workplace or heading out on the town to pick up somebody - you have a better chance of achieving your goals.

Luckily for blokes, looking professional in the workplace has been straightforward and unaffected by fashion for years.

Most blue collar blokes just have one tough fashion choice: should I wear the fluro yellow or fluro orange high visibility shirt today?

Of course they can accessorise their choice with colour matching hard hats and ear plugs, but that's going too far.

I wouldn't really know though, because I'm an office-dwelling dork.

The hardest choice for us usually is matching a tie to a shirt.

For a bloke like me, a tie isn't a fashion item anyway - just a handy piece of material that hides the coffee and food stains that have accumulated on my shirt throughout the day.

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