Earthquake deniers claim government lied about tremors

DOUBTS have been cast on a recent earthquake's existence after several coastal residents reveal they didn't feel anything at all. 

Reports from Geoscience Australia point to a series of quakes occurring off the Fraser Coast during the last three weeks, ranging in intensity from magnitude 3.1 to magnitude 5.7. 

Despite this, a growing number of people have indicated that the quakes couldn't possibly have occurred without them noticing. 

Head of the Queensland Institute's Centre for Democratic Geology, Shae King,  said, "For every report of tremors in the region, we're receiving one saying they felt nothing."

"Yet Geoscience Australia continues to publish sensor readings claiming earthquakes have indeed occurred.

"Until the debate between each side's claims can be resolved, we strongly urge the government stick to the null hypothesis that no quake actually happened at all."

Dozens of Facebook pages dedicated to disproving reports of these earthquakes have emerged since the first batch of reports hit the media.

One page, "I Felt Nothing, I Feel Nothing, Your Quakes Are A Lie" was shut down after anti-quakers began posting abusive messages to businesses who'd had stock damaged by the tremors. 

Another page was shut down because its name contained the n-word, three instances of the c-word and no fewer than four instances of the q-word. 

"The Labor/Greens/ISIS government must admit that they're lying about the existence of these earthquakes," said Crossfit Enthusiasts Against Fake Quakes page admin, Jill Harder.

"This is simply an attempt to distract voters from issues like Master Chef and Nick Kyrgios's outbursts during Question Time.

"We demand a Royal Commission."

Notices:

Researchers have expressed concerns that marriage equality may result in conservative homosexuals. 

Frisky Business is a satire column. It is not real. 



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