POLICE, bacon, pork chops, Golden Chicken and a masturbatory mime show all got a mention in Hervey Bay Magistrates Court this week.
Christopher Shane Hughes, 29, pleaded guilty to a curious public nuisance charge which somehow combined all these elements.
Police prosecutor Sergeant Kath Stagoll said Hughes came to police attention at the Golden Chicken restaurant in Scarness on January 13, as officers were getting dinner.
Hughes entered with a friend, and police immediately noticed the pair seemed highly intoxicated.
Sgt Stagoll said Hughes began to mime the act of masturbation, even screwing up his face for effect in the restaurant, while some girls waiting for their food grew more and more concerned about his actions.
Hughes and his friend were also swearing loudly, and when the officers approached him to tell him to calm down Hughes had responded by shouting, "There's bacon everywhere", Sgt Stagoll told the court.
Magistrate Graeme Tatnell was also unimpressed.
"Calling the police bacon or pigs... you were carrying on like a pork chop," Mr Tatnell told Hughes.
Duty lawyer Craig Ryan said Hughes's memory of the incident was incomplete, and he accepted his behaviour was inappropriate.
Hughes expressed remorse for the incident, calling it a "moment of stupidity".
He was also found to have had a small quantity of marijuana with him after being arrested for public nuisance, Sgt Stagoll said, to which Hughes also pleaded guilty.
Mr Tatnell fined Hughes a total of $1000 on both charges.